Fear Is Just A Feeling: My Journey From Anxiety To Empowerment

“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown” -H.P. Lovecraft

When I embarked on my Life Coaching journey, much of my focus centered on goal setting and figuring out how to start my own business. However, no amount of planning could prepare me for the biggest obstacle I would face: my fear of failure. One of the most impactful lessons I’ve learned throughout my healing journey is that fear is merely a feeling. Understanding this has empowered me to learn how to manage fear as an emotion, just as I have learned to navigate any other emotion. Before I share how I’ve overcome my fears, let’s first explore what fear is and where it originates.

Understanding Fear: The Three Types

Fear is a powerful emotion that can significantly impact anyone’s life. There are three main types of fear:

1. Rational Fear: This type arises from real, imminent threats, such as facing a dangerous animal or experiencing a life-threatening situation.

2. Irrational Fear: These fears don’t make logical sense and vary greatly from person to person. For instance, I have irrational fears of clowns (thanks to watching ‘Killer Klowns’ at a young age), mascots (let’s not even get started on Teletubbies), and porcelain dolls (their eyes can be unsettling!).

3. Primal Fear: This innate fear has been programmed into our brains throughout human evolution to aid in survival. Examples include fears of snakes or spiders.

Understanding the type of fear you are experiencing can help you grasp your fear response better.

The Fear Response: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

Human beings experience four primary fear responses:

– Fight: Confronting any perceived threat aggressively.

– Flight: Running away from danger.

– Freeze: Becoming immobilized or unable to act against a threat.

– Fawn: Trying to please or avoid conflict in response to a threat.

All these responses aim to decrease, end, or avoid danger, ultimately leading to a return to a calm state of mind.

My Personal Battle with Fear

Over the past several years, I have focused on overcoming my fears, particularly my fear of snakes. While I’ve flown in helicopters over the Grand Canyon, traversed mountains in aerial trams, and even skydived from 10,000 feet without hesitation, the thought of slithering, legless reptiles has always terrified me.

My encounters with snakes have only heightened my anxiety. I once experienced panic attacks just stepping out of my childhood home due to a snake that often appeared on the walkway. In college, I embarrassingly ran away during field research when I unexpectedly encountered snakes. Even though Indiana has 32 native snake species, only one of the four venomous species is present, and it’s a federally threatened species—not likely to be encountered.

Knowledge as Power

To combat my fear of snakes, I’ve committed to learning as much as possible, believing that knowledge is empowering. While I still fear snakes, I have challenged myself to touch and even hold one at a reptile show. My ultimate goal is to own a Hognose snake and encounter snakes in the wild without triggering a panic attack. 

Overcoming a fear of snakes is different from overcoming a fear of failure. While I can educate myself about snakes and expose myself to them, my fear of failure is entirely internal and harder to directly confront. This is why pushing yourself outside your comfort zone is essential for conquering such fears.

Taking the Leap: Facing My Fear of Failure

I have always aspired to help others through challenging times, but when the opportunity arose to pursue this dream, my fear of failure loomed larger than ever. Faced with two choices—to remain in my comfort zone and regret not trying, or to take the leap of faith—I chose the latter. Even if I fail, at least I can say I tried my best.

To overcome my fear of failure as a Life Coach, I focused on the bigger picture. I broke my goals into smaller, manageable steps; after all, you have to eat an elephant one bite at a time. As I worked toward my ultimate goal, I made a point to celebrate my victories, no matter how small. This mindset shift helped me become more excited than fearful about the path I had chosen.

Shifting Perspectives on Fear

Learning to view fear as just a feeling has allowed me to better understand and manage it. As a Life Coach, I assist clients in identifying fears that hinder their progress and provide them with the tools needed to conquer those fears. It’s easy to avoid fear and stay in our comfort zones, but facing our fears can lead to profound rewards.

Sometimes, our expectations around fear can prove incorrect, making it easier to deal with what once seemed daunting. Letting go of these expectations opens you up to the possibilities life has to offer.

Join me next week as I discuss expectations and how better managing them can lead to a happier life. If you’re seeking support in achieving your goals, feel free to reach out for a complimentary online consultation. Remember, we all can rise from our ashes and soar.

In the comments below feel free to share your fears and ways you have been able to conquer them.