I Love Me For Me: Fostering Self-Love
“You are enough just as you are. Each emotion, everything in your life, everything you do or do not do… where you are and who you are right now is enough. It is perfect.” — Haemin Sunim
As far back as I can remember I have struggled with negative self-talk, low self-esteem, and being extremely critical of myself. For a long time, I didn’t know that these traits of mine were causing more harm than good. As someone who has struggled with self-love for most of my life, this has been an important step in my healing journey. I have had to re-teach myself how to truly love myself and everything I have accomplished. Self-love is being able to appreciate your body and mind instead of focusing on what you believe is wrong with you.
When we love ourselves, we have to accept ourselves fully, treat ourselves with respect and kindness, and nurture our well-being and growth. Being able to love ourselves for who we are is important because it allows us to set boundaries, care for our needs, create healthy relationships, and allows us to pursue our goals. Fostering self-love involves being assertive, saying positive things to yourself, nurturing your health, forgiving your mistakes, setting realistic expectations, pursuing goals, and challenging yourself. When we lack self-love, it can have a negative impact on our lives.
Lacking self-love can be very harmful to how you live your life. This can show up as negative self-talk, people-pleasing, unhealthy relationships, sensitivity to criticism, not caring for your needs, and feeling like an imposter. If we don’t lack self-love it is hard to trust our judgment and forgive our imperfections. Even though self-love may not come easy to some, there are ways of developing a better relationship with ourselves.
Learning to love ourselves for who we are can help us build better relationships with ourselves and others. Developing self-love isn’t just telling ourselves that we love ourselves, it’s about fostering healthy habits that boost your self-love. You can incorporate many habits into your life that can help. When I embarked on my self-love journey there were a few habits that I found most important to me.
When I started making my mental health a bigger priority in my life I had to start incorporating new behaviors that had more positive effects than my previous behaviors I learned in survival mode. My first step was learning to be more compassionate towards myself. I had to become more mindful of my thoughts towards myself and my negative mindset. When I would catch myself either criticizing myself or having a grim outlook, I would pause for a second and analyze why I was feeling this way. I also needed to focus on the way I talked about myself. Instead of focusing on my mistakes, I would try to focus on what I did right even if things didn’t turn out how I wanted them to.
Everyone makes mistakes. But for me, I would make mistakes and be unable to forgive myself for them. I have always been able to forgive others for their mistakes, but I held myself to unrealistic standards and was unable to forgive myself. I understand now, that mistakes are a part of life and are an important part of learning and growing into a better version of myself. All of my imperfections are what make me perfect.
Accepting my imperfections gave me space to appreciate the small things more. Being a mom of two, this is important to me because my kids are growing up fast. There are a lot of big moments I have been able to share with my kids, but the small moments have been just as important. Even though I still give myself time to pursue my goals, I love my life and I love the person I have become through the big moments and the small moments.
Over the last several years, I have been able to foster self-love habits, and by doing so I have been able to help others grow their self-love. When we love ourselves for who we are, we can appreciate the individuality of ourselves and others. Having a positive relationship with ourselves helps us create healthy relationships with others. Self-love is an important step in your healing journey that can lead you to achieving your goals. Everyone is worthy of love.
As I have continued to find healthy habits in my healing journey, I have come across dark light therapy, and the benefits it has on our mental health. Come back next week as I discuss some research about dark light therapy’s effects on bipolar, and how I have implemented it into my life. Always remember, we all can rise from our ashes and soar.