The Power of Choice: Embracing Growth Over Stagnation
Trigger Warning: Loss of a close loved one, Sexual Assault, Substance Abuse, Anxiety, Depression, Postpartum Depression
“I am me. You are you. We are alive. We get to die, which means we get to live. Any moment you spend squandering those moments you are alive, does disrespect to all those who will never be born” -Neil deGrasse Tyson
When it comes to making positive changes in life, every coaching professional shares a fundamental belief: No one can change your life but you. As a Trauma-Informed Life Coach, I can provide you with valuable tools and support, but ultimately, the responsibility for change lies with you. Just as I must hold myself accountable to choose growth over stagnation, so must you.
My Journey of Hiding Pain
After losing my dad, I learned to mask my pain, pushing through life while burying my emotions deep down. By high school, after being sexually assaulted for the second time, I had become an expert at hiding my feelings and blocking out the negativity. I spent years in a state of fight or flight, mistakenly believing my unhealthy reality was normal.
During high school, I turned to drinking and partying as coping mechanisms, even sneaking vodka in water bottles to school. At home, I faced constant trouble and began isolating myself when I struggled. My freshman year of college was a blur as I again relied on pills and alcohol to suppress my anger. After a year of turmoil, I left the university and enrolled in a two-year technical school.
Finding a New Direction
At this point, my desire to complete my degree outweighed my urge to drown my pain in alcohol. After moving back home, I met my now-husband, and for the first time in a long while, I felt genuinely happy. I made significant changes in my life, graduated with my associate’s degree, completed a triathlon, and married in 2016 while working toward my bachelor’s degree.
However, life took another turn when I discovered I was pregnant with my daughter. The first six months of motherhood were incredibly challenging; I struggled with severe postpartum depression. My husband and daughter became my lifelines, and without them, I honestly don’t know where I would be. I initially thought treating my postpartum symptoms would restore my normalcy, but my mental health fluctuated more than ever, leaving me feeling increasingly out of control.
Hitting Rock Bottom
The COVID-19 shutdown pushed me to my lowest point, and I desperately sought a way out of the dark pit of depression. It was during this time that I discovered a Life Coaching course, igniting my determination to understand and improve my mental health. Receiving diagnoses of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD) and Bipolar II Disorder provided the foundation I needed to start making positive changes in my life.
Having a supportive husband and being a mom fueled my motivation to better myself. I found the right medication and a therapist who resonated with me. Coupled with the knowledge and tools I gained through Life Coaching, I learned to identify survival behaviors stemming from my traumas and transform them into positive actions that align with my goals.
The Choice to Thrive
As cliché as it may sound, I had to actively choose to change my behaviors from merely surviving to truly thriving. While medication has stabilized my moods and therapy has helped me process my traumas, the responsibility for enacting positive change lies solely with me. I have the power to choose growth and work toward becoming the person I aspire to be—a person who can guide others in overcoming their traumas and fostering their own growth.
As a Trauma-Informed Life Coach, I help my clients recognize how past traumas influence their present experiences and how these insights can guide them toward resilience and actionable strategies. My approach focuses on the present rather than dwelling on the past. By addressing current life challenges and the trauma’s impact, we can develop healthy beliefs and positive coping strategies, rather than simply extinguishing negative thoughts and behaviors. I see myself not as a therapist or counselor, but as a supportive mentor, guiding clients in the direction they choose to go.
Choosing Growth Every Day
Choosing growth is a daily decision. While it’s easy to remain stagnant, I consciously work toward my dreams and strive for a healthier version of myself. Some days are more challenging than others, but I hold the reins of my life and refuse to let my mental health define me. No one else can create the life I desire if I’m not willing to put in the effort.
Though embracing change can be frightening, fear is just an emotion—one that can be overcome like any other. Join me next week as I discuss fear and share ways I’ve overcome it, along with strategies you can use. If you or a loved one is seeking support in achieving your goals, don’t hesitate to schedule your complimentary online consultation with me. Remember, we all can rise from our ashes and soar.